Welcome to the Church of Thermal Ascension

Our church was formed on 30th November 2016 ( days ago). Our believers can fly.

Our Beliefs

  • The Sun supplies all energy in our Universe thanks to the magical power of Fusion. (Fusion will be with us in t + 30 years.)
  • We will be lifted aloft by the power of the Sun. (And cast down by the Darkness.)
  • Our lives are a contest where the Sun triumphs over Gravity. (xcontest.org keeps the Holy records.)
  • True enlightenment can only be found through Altitude. (Ridge Soaring does not count.)
  • The Sun is immortal. (We define immortality as lasting less than 10 billion years.)
  • If the sun makes you hot it therefore wants you to drink homemade beer in order to maintain an equilibrium (and avoid unnecessary taxes) it will use your sweat to make clouds for paragliding and more beer water.

Our Rules

  • Defy gravity whenever possible. (Practice often missing the ground.)
  • Use the power that the Sun bestows upon you. (In every way possible.)
  • Help those less capable than yourself. (You were once less capable.)
  • Avoid always the Cumulonimbus. (You are a puny human.)
  • Repack your reserve often. (Don't assume your God will be in a good mood when you need him.)
  • All soaring aircraft are equal. (Some are more equal than others.)
  • Each day of the week is sacred. (No days are reserved for work.)
  • No donations are accepted. No fees are charged by the church. (Give only to your local club.)
Logo for the Church of Thermal Ascension

Contact